On Being a Geek

Note: This entry first published as "Geeks Anonymous" on Mark... my words, May 3, 2006.

Check my closet, if you must. You will not find a single pair of plaid, polyester, high-water slacks. My button down shirts have never borne a pocket protector. Never have my dress shoes been worn with shorts and as God as my witness socks have never covered my sandle-clad feet. Yes, I do wear glasses occasionally, but only for reading or computer work. However, they are fully intact without any electrical, Scotch or duct tape holding them together. I promise.

Why am I telling you this? What is the point? Because, in spite of my vehement efforts to avoid external stereotypes, I cannot deny who or what I am.

My name is Mark. I am a geek.

I have been a geek all my life. From my earliest days throughout High School, the development of my geekiness haunted me. My nose was always stuck in a book. I was not very good at athletics. I was not a good dancer. I had no fashion sense whatsoever. I played Dungeons & Dragons. I was in show choir. I was into computers (if you have never stored your data on a cassette tape with a portable recorder…). I was fanatical about Star Wars and Indiana Jones. I was, in all senses of the word, a geek.

Even today, my geek factor remains high. I am a trivia fiend. I can quote lines from movies and TV shows, the names of the characters who said them and the actors who played them. I am very prone to pop up with random facts of (sometimes quasi-) related information to whatever is being discussed on TV, in a movie or in person (otherwise known as Cliff Clavin Syndrome – and if you don’t know who Cliff Clavin is, your geek factor is severely lacking). My interests and amusements leave my wife and others who know me slowly shaking their head sympathetically and muttering “Geek” under their breath.

But I am not offended. It is a badge of honor that I wear with pride. I have even adopted it as my nickname and am known both in my household and on bulletin boards across the net as “Geek Daddy.” I am a geek, and I am not ashamed.

I used to work with a guy named Shane who was constantly aghast at my pride in being a geek. He steadfastly believed being a geek was a bad thing. Despite the fact that he had a degree in computer science and could quote off the top of his head technical information, proper configurations and hardware specifications that would make your eyes cross. He partied hard. He lived the life of a playa. But all the while, he was denying his inner geek. I believe he will never truly be happy until he unleashes the geek within.

Being a geek isn’t a bad thing! Sure, we geeks have been picked on, insulted, even abused because of our geekiness. But those who would stand against us are just denying their own inner-geek! Is the guy who memorizes the episode name, plot line and guest stars of every Star Trek episode from all five series plus the movies really all that different than the guy who memorizes starting lineups and player stats from the sports pages? They’re both geeks! So you can name the size engine and other specific facts of every Ford vehicle made in the last 50 years? Great! I can name every album Queen ever released, the featured songs, and the solo albums of each band member. Welcome to the Brotherhood of the Geek!

It is time we stand up for our geek selves! Be proud of who we are! Rejoice in our geekiness!

To paraphrase from 1984’s Revenge of the Nerds, “There’s a little geek in all of us. Join us, ‘cause no one’s gonna really be free until geek persecution ends.”

Shane? If you’re out there, buddy: Be true to your geek.